Hope is the last, greatest...
Jun. 21st, 2006 02:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rochndil...and most terrible. Yet, sometimes, it's all we have.
Most probably know that I'm in the midst of a massive reorganization of my life right now. This takes a heavy toll on both myself and my lovely wife. I can only hope that, someday soon, there will be a chance to take a breath and look onward to the reason for all this effort.
Most days I drudge through my work, like most folks, one hoof in front of the other. It's all I can do just to make it. But every once in a while, there's just the tiniest glimpse of a WHY.
Sometimes it comes in a snatch of song, or a turn of phrase, or an image seen out of the corner of my eye. For that one tiny moment, the lightning flashes down my spine, and I say "YES! That's why!" Unfortunately, it rarely lasts long.
I've asked the eternal sky, the slumbering earth, the cool waters, the ephemeral fire, why I'm here, what the hell I'm supposed to do. Unfortunately, there's never a satisfactory answer. And I STILL haven't found the damned manual.
But the way I look at it, if I'm not HERE, there's always the chance I'll miss that one moment, when I'm the right 'corn in the right place. So I struggle on, enduring the mundanity of life, and treasuring those few moments when the light shines in from beyond.
Hope can be a terrible burden; waiting, holding on for that time to come, with all the times between weighing you down like lead. Believe me, I know. We've just got to hope it'll all be worth it when we make it.
Jackson Browne is, IMO, an amazing poet. He said in one of his songs, "When the light that's lost within us reaches the sky." We all have our little spark of light, and everyone's color is a bit different. It can be damned hard to keep that spark burning. There's not much of anything left in this world that doesn't do everything it can to smother us in darkness. But if that spark goes out, no matter that our bodies may go on about their duties, WE are truly dead. You know, I'm sure, those that have died. You can see it in their eyes.
No matter how hard it gets, don't give up. Keep dreaming, keep believing. And every once in a while, there will come that moment when you remember why you bother to care. Because even a small light can conquer the darkness. And don't think it doesn't know that.
Hope to see you there, when we all finally arrive. Until then, I'll keep surviving, until I have the chance to live again.
Rochndil, tired and with a splitting headache, struggling onward.
Most probably know that I'm in the midst of a massive reorganization of my life right now. This takes a heavy toll on both myself and my lovely wife. I can only hope that, someday soon, there will be a chance to take a breath and look onward to the reason for all this effort.
Most days I drudge through my work, like most folks, one hoof in front of the other. It's all I can do just to make it. But every once in a while, there's just the tiniest glimpse of a WHY.
Sometimes it comes in a snatch of song, or a turn of phrase, or an image seen out of the corner of my eye. For that one tiny moment, the lightning flashes down my spine, and I say "YES! That's why!" Unfortunately, it rarely lasts long.
I've asked the eternal sky, the slumbering earth, the cool waters, the ephemeral fire, why I'm here, what the hell I'm supposed to do. Unfortunately, there's never a satisfactory answer. And I STILL haven't found the damned manual.
But the way I look at it, if I'm not HERE, there's always the chance I'll miss that one moment, when I'm the right 'corn in the right place. So I struggle on, enduring the mundanity of life, and treasuring those few moments when the light shines in from beyond.
Hope can be a terrible burden; waiting, holding on for that time to come, with all the times between weighing you down like lead. Believe me, I know. We've just got to hope it'll all be worth it when we make it.
Jackson Browne is, IMO, an amazing poet. He said in one of his songs, "When the light that's lost within us reaches the sky." We all have our little spark of light, and everyone's color is a bit different. It can be damned hard to keep that spark burning. There's not much of anything left in this world that doesn't do everything it can to smother us in darkness. But if that spark goes out, no matter that our bodies may go on about their duties, WE are truly dead. You know, I'm sure, those that have died. You can see it in their eyes.
No matter how hard it gets, don't give up. Keep dreaming, keep believing. And every once in a while, there will come that moment when you remember why you bother to care. Because even a small light can conquer the darkness. And don't think it doesn't know that.
Hope to see you there, when we all finally arrive. Until then, I'll keep surviving, until I have the chance to live again.
Rochndil, tired and with a splitting headache, struggling onward.
